Typical

I am married to probably the greatest husband ever. That said, Cranky has annoying quirks, just like anyone.

A typical sample:

Cranky comes home early from work and plops himself down in front of his computer and turns on the TV. The kids are playing with me in Cranky Jr. #1's room. The phone rings. It is our babysitter calling for me. I head to our room to pick it up. As I begin speaking the kids start screaming. Cranky looks at me and points in their direction - meaning I should go deal with it while I'm on the phone and he is just sitting there. After I hang up I express my annoyance. His response?

"Well, I'm not supposed to be home right now."

We're doomed

Some people might ask why we can't go on long trips at this particular juncture. No, we haven't taken a vacation in a long time. Yes, we are tired and stressed out and yes, we deserve one.

However, let me recap the events of yesterday, and you be the judge:

We pack up the kiddies in the van and head to a mall to look at desks for Jr.

As we pull into the parking lot we hear a suspiciously explosive sound from the back.

I remove Jr. #2 from the car and clean up gallons of diarrhea from his legs, shoes and bottom. I throw wipes and destroyed underwear in a plastic bag to throw away. I throw soiled yet potentially salvageable shorts in the trunk.

I have no extra shorts but his shirt covers his clean underwear. We get to the mall and I run into a kids' clothing store and buy a pair of shorts.

We put them on him in the store and head to Pottery Barn Kids to look at desks. After we discover none of them are the right size I think I smell something. I see a woman looking at me in disgust. I look down and notice Jr #2s new shorts have a watery brown stain heading south. I drag him to the store bathroom and try to clean him. I run out of wipes and start using paper towels. I have one extra plastic bag in which I put the new dirty shorts. I realize I have no new underwear, pull-ups or diapers, just Jr. #3's size 3 diapers. I put one on him, hanging together by a thread and pray they stay on until we get home.

We leave the store in shirt and precarious diaper and head to the parking lot. Jr. #2 spies a play area and takes off. We chase him around and around. I am terrified the diaper will fall off. We finally make it to the car.

There is a chance Cranky is going to win a company-paid trip next year. He may have to go alone.

Don't U Forget About Me

So John Hughes has passed away - director of all those 80s movies my best pal Becky and I went to see, and soundtrack to my teenage life. He directed my then-future now ex-boyfriend Ray Gun Geek #1 from "Pretty In Pink" (or was he Ray Gun Geek #2?).

Becky and I enjoyed those movies but absolutely could not relate to anything his characters did. We were the kind of kids every parent of a teenage daughter hopes to have. Our big idea of a Saturday night was to order a pizza and watch TV. We never got into trouble, never even experimented with anything other than an entire pan of brownies. But we had lots of fun watching the movies.

RIP John Hughes.

Today's Playlist In Memoriam:

"Don't You Forget About Me" - Simple Minds
"Pretty In Pink" - Psychedelic Furs
"Old Time Rock and Roll" - Bob Seger